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Spring is upon us. Although it might still be hiding behind the last folds of winter, the first rays of sun are starting to crack open a sky of murky white and grey. I know this because the reflection of what appears to be a “sunny but cold” morning continuously throws its glare against my screen, beckoning me to come outside and play. By the angle of the light, I know that it is a devilish scheme of the ice-queen of winter and her rascal friend “budding spring” to make me go outside for a walk… and, after noticing that it might look sunny, but is still cold, rush back in to pack up warmer than an imperial snowtrooper.
Yet today I am far too en-wrapped in my personal quest, that lies just beyond my grasp, to be lured outside by mother nature. Behind my keyboard, I embark on an epic quest to find and retrieve the holy grail of automated computing: I want to syncronise my latest podcasts to my phone, using an automated script. I might catch some of you frowning in puzzlement, mouthing the words “Knightwise, there are programs for that, programs like Itunes and stuff”, and I must say you are correct. For years I have used this loyal application to download the gleaming gold of user-created content to my precious Ipod. So why seek other ways?
For one, it is the fault of a little green goblin. Well, not so much a Goblin as a Droid logo that stands for the technology behind my Smartphone - the htc Desire. Its “freedom loving, open source, anyone can play oh rootme! rootme! rootme!“ calls border on the edge of slutty as the device tries to pry some “creative hacking spirit” from my mind. The second antagonist, its brown circled logo watching me like the eye of Mordor is my Ubuntu server. Tucked away behind our television, a hidden realm of infinite possibilities, endless tweaking, and complete customisation.
I stand before a vast landscape of ignorance, armed only with curiosity and enthusiasm, and wonder if I can bridge the void between the two towers? In the distance, the green android goblin dances around the brown mountain of Ubuntu, behind me my Ipod snuggles up to my leg as I sit in the shadow of a giant white Imac and the closed source technology it stands for. The grey wizard Steve tries to comfort me by whispering soothing words into my ear: “Why leave the walled garden? You can do anything you want here, as long as you do it my way”. His words are tempting, soothing, safe. They almost take away the pain of having to manually download and synchronize all my podcasts to my Ipod before I leave for work. The white straight jacket of the Itunes asylum almost feels comfortable. Almost.
But, I choose to embark on the unmapped roads of the interwebs to reach my goal. To tweak, tune, hack, and script the dragon of technology to serve me and my green goblin. To have the power of the brown tower (that sounds wrong) at my fingertips, to become master instead of servant. I push open the white doors of the white kingdom. Behind me, somebody slays an open source unicorn to convince me to stay… but its death-cries are lost on the open roads I embark on.
My only map in this unknown labyrinth is “the google”. This omnipresent oracle can be persuaded in divulging the right answers, if only you ask the right questions. When I, however, ask in what direction I must walk, it points me to 20 directions at the same time. “Which one is the right one?” I scream. “Every one” whispers the Google. Thus I use its directions to re-formulate my question over and over, trying to get a clearer answer, but there is just too much information out there. One of Google's arrows point me toward a gigantic square entitled “Ubuntu Forums”. This magic place beholds both questions and answers yet its inhabitants are invisible. The square is littered with old matrix printer paper. Each “chain” consisting of a question and subsequently filled with replies, suggestions, and other answers concerning the topic. I wade around them for hours, but do not find the answer I seek, So, I pick up a blank piece of paper and write down my own question. I let the paper fall back into the enormous pile and wait as I look around. At the sound of rustling paper, I look back to see that an invisible friend has written an answer to my question on my thread… I reply, put the paper down, and wait … the process magically repeats itself. Who IS this stranger? Why does he want to help me?
Slowly but surely the general direction where I want to go starts to become clear. With the help of my unknown library friend, we are able to define my quest clearer and clearer. I walk through the labyrinth, the forum thread streaming behind me like an endless letter, other strangers writing down their answers and direction as we go along. Suddenly, I hear the noises of babbling voices and rattling keyboards, around the corner I find a tavern called “The IRC”. “The place where everyone talks about everything, all the time” the google whispers when I inquire about the place. “The trick is to find the right room”. Thus I wander inside this great establishment, and open door after door, peeking inside room after room. Some rooms are empty, some have patrons that do not speak, others are bustling with the chatter of voices. I find a chamber that bears the name of the brown tower, and step inside. After politely saying hello and listening to the conversations that go on inside, I ask if I may ask a question. “The statement is redundant” bellows somebody inside the room. “Asking if you can ask redundant”. I almost turn on my heels and step outside, shocked by his attitude, as he slaps me on the shoulder, hands me a virtual pint, and says: “Ok, so what was that question”.
I tell the patrons my Epic tale. Of the road I have traveled, the arrows google has shown me, and I wave around the paper thread I brought from the library. This mysterious letter that seems to write itself. As by magic, several of the patrons in the room break from their conversations and start to help me. They discuss what I have achieved so far, they read through the Forum thread that is still being written, and throw up suggestions of their own. I marvel at the enthusiasm and friendliness of these strangers who take the time to solve this problem with me.
With their answers I race out the door, heading closer and closer to my direction. My own enthusiasm, combined with the knowledge I have acquired and the collective minds of the people helping me on my quest, seem to make the labyrinth crumble into one straight road towards my destination.
I am close! I call out to the people in the Tavern and the Library… ” YES!“ I hear them call… I slice down the last pesky bugs that stand in the way of my quest, iron out the last glitches of code in the script, and see the end of my journey coming ever closer. As all of us fix the last corrupt character in the script, I slide in my code into the gates of the Open Source Kingdom, my green goblin laughing and giggling with expectation. The giant gate clicks and the open source kingdom opens up to me. I look behind me, expecting to see the long, deserted stretch of road that led me here on my solemn and lonely quest. My breath catches in my throat as they are all there, the invisible helpers from the library, the patrons from the IRC-tavern, the many souls who wrote the arrows google gave me. A massive army of smiling faces that helped me in achieving my goal. I smirk at that stupid frodo guy who only had about 5 helpers while I seem to be accompanied by an army of thousands. All of them devoting a little bit of their time and effort to help me achieve my goal.
On the horizon I see “Jobs the Grey” utter a curse as he randomly rejects another developer access to the application store. “Because it’s Monday and my shoes are blue” he shouts at the questioning face of the latter.
As my code runs, and my green goblined Android phone receives the podcasting episodes via a script, I look back at the things I've learned, the friends I've made, and the goal I've accomplished. In the edge of my vision, I see a lost soul with a map, trying to find his way in the land of the open sources. She is a total stranger, yet I walk up to her… “Lets see what we can do to help you”… My army roars as we embark on another campaign.