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There I am, keyboard on my lap, feet propped up, energy drink at the ready, and a mass of Hot Pockets in the freezer singing their alluring siren song. I agree with the Hot Pockets that yes, I will meander over there and select one of you for consumption as soon as I finish one more paragraph; I’m writing a research paper at the time. When, suddenly, staring deeply into my disposition is the lovely blue screen of death. Yet again, Windows had managed to perfectly time a system crash when I’m in the zone. My cat, Penelope, jumps up onto the computer desk, blinks softly, and meows as if to say, “You know what to do.” Now, I’m a systems engineer who manages a few persistently connected network segments of which all servers run a flavor of Linux. I’m a fanatic. I’ve often wondered why is it that my own house is run by Windows? It’s some sort of paradox. I opine that it must be because I share out folders to stream to my Xbox. I then decide folder streaming is a weak excuse – I pet Penelope, sip my energy drink, and get to work.
It goes like this: bounce PC, backup files, select Hot Pocket, put Hot Pocket into microwave, download Ubuntu 12.04, burn to disk, retrieve Hot Pocket, retrieve extra Fire Sauce packets, bounce PC, boot to CD, squirt sauce into halved pocket, bite into still-too-hot Hot Pocket and chew from one side of my mouth to the other. I get to the partition manager of the Ubuntu installation and nefariously say to the Windows partition, “Goodbye Windows, I want to say it was a good run, but no, you ruined my life.” It is at that point I part ways with Windows and gleefully begin upon, as the American Constitution iterates I’m allowed to do, my pursuit of happiness. What follows is: install proprietary drivers, install Guake, finish Hot Pocket, install Wine, install Foxit Reader, install VirtualBox, pet Penelope, install Chrome, install Opera, configure Ubuntu One, pull down Hotot ppa, configure AskUbuntu lens, finish energy drink, synchronize browsers, marvel at my shiny new installation while quoting Dr. Frankenstein, “It’s alive! Alive!”
To solve the issue of Xbox streaming, I snatch my XP Pro disk and say to it, “We meet again”. I reluctantly install a Windows virtual machine. The idea here is that, when I need it, I’ll detach my external drive from Ubuntu and attach it to the virtual Windows machine. Streaming conundrum solved. However, there was one issue I did not previously consider; my wife. My wife lugs around her Windows laptop all over the house, sometimes settling on the couch to have tea, read the news, surf the web for cosmetics, and upload pictures. Seemingly she is happy with Windows apart from the occasional, “This thing seems to get slower by the day.” Though she has a laptop, our central desktop is what she uses for Xbox streaming when she is in the mood to watch anime on the big screen (which is often). She certainly has never seen any version of Linux nor would she understand how to deal with virtual machines.
About the time I realize this, she is walking down the stairs, freshly awake from our previous night’s anime marathon, laptop in hand. The conversation goes something like this: “Good morning.” “Good morning.” “Whatcha doing?” “Fixing the computer.” “What happened?” “I suspect memory crash maybe.” “I don’t know what that means but okay. How did you fix it?” “Install Ubuntu.” “Uhboontu, that’s a funny word. What is that?” “A miracle on a disk.” “Can I see?” “Yep.” Silence. I’m nervous. She says, “I don’t get it.” I say, “It fixed the computer, remember.” “It’s different than mine.”
“Correction, better than yours. May I show you why?” “I’ll never understand why you just can’t leave things alone.” “But it fixed the computer,” and now I’m ready for a beat-down. She’s moving the mouse around and asks, “Can I surf the Internet?” “Yes. It has Firefox.” (That’s her favorite browser). “Can I upload pictures?” “Yes.” I hit the super-key, type Shotwell, show her, and lock it to the launcher. “Can I listen to my music?” “Yes” I hit the super-key, type Rhythmbox, show her, and lock it to the launcher. “Then I trust you.” Relief. “Wait, one more question.” Nervousness. “Can I stream anime?”
I say, “Yeah, about that,” and begin scratching my head in thought about how to best explain a virtual machine – when I have an epiphany. Her laptop is STILL Windows! I continue, “Give me a few minutes and I’ll show you how.” Install Samba, create share. “Let me see your laptop honey.” Permanently mount network drive, configure Windows Media Center to point to network share. “See, now you can just download and stream from your laptop!” “That’s cool! How did you do that?” To which I deviously reply, “I didn’t, Ubuntu did. Told you it’s better.” About a week goes by and everything is working great; I’m walking down the stairs post-anime marathon when I notice my wife on the couch staring inquisitively into the screen of her laptop. To my delicious surprise I notice her Windows taskbar had been moved from the bottom of the screen to the left side of the screen. Elation warmed over me. She was attempting to mimic Unity on a Windows machine. She looks at me, “Good morning.”
“Good morning.” “I have a question.” “I have an answer.” She closes her laptop and gives it to me, “Can you make this Ubuntu?” Eureka!!! I say, “Uh, what, I don’t think I…what did you just say?” “Ubuntu, I’ve been reading about it and using yours, and you’re right, it is better.” Double Eureka!!! I say, “Well absolutely, my love.” And I go to work liberating her laptop from the clutches of the empire. Moral of the story: given some time, even the most novice user will come to find Linux is a much more pleasurable experience. It takes the vigilance and willingness on the part of us Linux aficionados to take the time to show its capability instead of arguing with people who just want to “keep it simple”, read news, surf the web, look at pictures, and stream a marathon’s worth of cute anime.